Shame

The following paragraphs introduce considerations regarding shame that may be completely outside of the personal experience of the reader and therefore seem irrelevant. It is hoped that the reader will not get lost by way of this introduction. However, it is prudent that we explore these considerations in order to set up our survey of biblical teachings regarding shame.

What is shame?

Shame has a both a subjective and objective reality. In the subjective sense, shame is an experience, something someone feels (e.g., embarrassment). In the objective sense, shame is a condition, an objective reality, in which someone is or has placed themself. It is description of a state, not a feeling. As an objective state, shame may or may not be felt (more will be said about that later). Because shame could be either (or both), it is important that we understand about which aspect of shame (or both) we are talking. There are objective experiences/conditions in which someone should feel shame. In that sense, to not feel shame would not be good. And there are times when one feels shame, but not because of objective reasons. In other words, feeling shame can (and does) occur when there is no objective reason to feel it. Though these distinctions may seem technical—somewhat removed from the way you experience life—they are, nevertheless, critically important in order to biblically understand and address the issues of shame.

Questions that orient our study

• From where does shame ultimately originate?
• What is the objective condition in which one would (or should) feel shame?
• What are God's purposes in creating us with the capacity to feel shame?
• In what ways has our fallen condition affected this capacity?
• What is happening when one should feel shame but doesn't?
• What is happening when one need not feel shame and yet they do?
• What causes these to happen in these ways?

Three brief points are necessary at this point, each of which will be expanded upon over the course of this study:

1. Wrong doing (sin) should bring about a sense of both guilt and shame.
2. Being the recipient of another's wrongs can, and often does, evoke undeserved shame.
3. Being associated with someone (or something) that is shameful does not necessarily require one to feel shameful, but often does.

The biblical witness bears testimony to these three points.

Though it is true that most people experience shame at various points in their lives, some do not identify it as such (they don't consciously acknowledge it as such). Alternatively, there are others who have an acute awareness of shame in their lives, but have not been able to make sense out of it or know what to do about it. And there are still others who have participated in shameful practices, and yet there is an absence of felt shame. Whether in the first, second, or third category, shame needs to be addressed biblically. Shame has been given by God as a capacity with particular purposes, but that often misfires and becomes a destructive. This paper is an attempt to understand shame and utilize it for God's intentions, removing its curse and benefitting from its blessing.

Consider the following statement:

Shame is when you equate a negative thing you've done with who you are as a person. Feelings of shame aren't productive and have a negative impact on your mental health and well-being. (therapy.com)

This statement is a common, contemporary way of defining shame. What is true in this statement? What is missing? What is false?

Think of the qualifications this statement needs to make (but doesn't make) in order to be adequate, accurate, and helpful. Such qualifications would be: what constitutes "a negative thing"? Who gets to decide? "Feelings of shame aren't productive"—is this true? Who gets to decide that? Is this statement claiming universality—it is saying it is true in every case? And who gets to decide what is mental-health?

Whereas living in a state of shame is a negative thing and likely hinders a person from living as God intended, it is also true that, according to the Bible, shame is at times necessary, in order to move toward and live in God's intentions. Therefore, the Bible rejects the cultural understanding of shame that claims it as fundamentally bad.

To understand shame biblically, we need to know its opposite. Biblically, the opposite of shame is honor, dignity, glory. It is state of being of value—intrinsically. But honor and glory are derivatives. As all things come from the Lord, honor is His and is given to whom He chooses. He chose to give special honor to humans in making them in His image. When people live in a manner (thoughts, beliefs, choices, actions, words) that falls beneath God's honor, they fall into the realm of shame. To be treated as one who does not possess honor and value can be experienced as shame as well. So there are times when shame should be felt. And there are times when it should be felt but isn't. There are times when shame is not earned but felt (as in when being sinned against). We will discuss these more later.

A Brief Overview of Shame

The Relationship between Guilt and Shame

It is extremely important to know how God intended guilt and shame to operate, given that He created us with the capacities to feel these at a subjective level. Equally important is it that we understand how sin has highjacked and distorted the way in which we experience them.

It is hoped that these explanations and distinctions are not confusing. But they are necessary to better understand God's purposes for shame and guilt and the ways in which sin (ours and others') affects our experiences of them.

Guilt and shame are objective states and subjective feelings related to the keeping of standards, as part of God's creative intentions. However, the human experience of guilt and shame may or may not be related to God's standards but rather to the standards (and expectations) of others. In other words, the standard toward which we strive may not be God's, but nonetheless they are standards that when not met, could lead to guilt and shame. God's good intention in creating us with the capacity to experience feelings of guilt and shame is that they might lead us to repentance. Feeling guilt and shame because of failing to meet the standards of others likely relates to fear of man and longings for approval. It is important to identify which standard one is affected by in order to know if feelings of guilt and/or shame are appropriate.

Guilt and shame can be helpful when they are indicating the truth and directing us toward God, but can be very misleading and even harmful when they become warped and self-focused. Guilt gone wrong often results in either blame-shifting and/or self-condemnation. Shame gone wrong often results in faking/hiding and/or self-loathing. Both guilt and shame can be "switched off." When this occurs, the feeling of guilt and shame are muted or denied.

Guilt and Shame Operating as God Intends

The verse below shows appropriate shame, intended by God, as a response to sin, leading to repentance.

Jeremiah 3:25
25 Let us lie down in our shame, and let our dishonor cover us. For we have sinned against the LORD our God, we and our fathers, from our youth even to this day, and we have not obeyed the voice of the LORD our God."

Guilt and shame are intended by God to point to something that is wrong and that has caused fracture in relationship with Him and possibly others. The Apostle Paul says shame is something one can be "put to" in order to bring about repentance.

2 Thessalonians 3:14
14 If anyone does not obey what we say in this letter, take note of that person, and have nothing to do with him, that he may be ashamed.

We see, then, in scripture, there is a good shame and a bad shame, in terms of its usefulness in our walk with God and in our relationships with other people. John Piper distinguishes well-place shame from misplaced shame.

The biblical criterion for misplaced shame says, Don't feel shame for something that honors God, no matter how weak or foolish or wrong it makes you look in the eyes of other people. Or another way to apply this God-centered criterion of misplaced shame: don't feel shame because of a truly shameful situation unless you are in some way participating in the evil.

The biblical criterion for well-placed shame says, Do feel shame for having a hand in anything that dishonors God, no matter how strong or wise or right it makes you look in the eyes of others.

The reason we should feel shame is disapproval for behavior that dishonors God. The reason we should not feel shame is behavior that honors God, even if people try to shame you for it.

(desiringgod.org)

The Fall of Man: Guilt and Shame Begin to Misfire

A proper sense of guilt and shame assumes a standard that has been set by God, and is in reference to God. But because of the fall and our depravity, guilt and shame misfire, driving us farther away from God and toward a focus on ourselves and other people.

Genesis 3:6-10
When the woman saw that the fruit of the tree was good for food and pleasing to the eye, and also desirable for gaining wisdom, she took some and ate it. She also gave some to her husband, who was with her, and he ate it. Then the eyes of both of them were opened, and they realized they were naked; so they sewed fig leaves together and made coverings for themselves. Then the man and his wife heard the sound of the LORD God as he was walking in the garden in the cool of the day, and they hid from the LORD God among the trees of the garden. But the LORD God called to the man, "Where are you?" He answered, "I heard you in the garden, and I was afraid because I was naked; so I hid."

Differentiating Guilt from Shame

Shame is about the person, not just the behavior. Its focus is on what is wrong with the person, not necessarily with what they have done wrong. It has a profoundly social aspect, leading the person to speculate as to why they are not wanted or do not belong or fit in. Shame tends to make people feel lower than others (dishonored). This is especially true when they have been mistreated and/or rejected in close or significant relationships. When people are treated as though they have no worth, they easily come to believe it. Shame is about feeling flawed. It feels like the courtroom of judgment in the community, where others see and judge us as unworthy.

Guilt is about wrong-doing, about breaking the law. It feels like standing before a lone judge. It is about not doing right, failing to meet a moral standard. Guilt can, and often does lead to shame, but they are different subjective experiences. In reality, guilt is something that is incurred by wrong-doing. We are either guilty or not. But it is also felt—sometimes when are guilty, and sometimes when we are not.

God intended guilt and shame to be experiences that humbles us because of personal sin, making us turn to Him for help. Because we are naturally proud and blinded by our sin, we tend to avoid God, hide from and blame others, as did Adam and Eve.

To conceptualize, think of shame as a container. Shame contains guilt—guilt "lives" within it - but guilt and shame are not the same things.

Guilt and Shame after the Fall of Man (Genesis 3)

Look at the illustration below. Notice that after the Fall, guilt lives either within and outside the container of shame. In other words, legitimate guilt is not always experienced as shame, though it should be. The experience of shame can be absent because of a seared conscience or a hard heart. In such cases, there is no attempt to hide wrong-doing or turn from it. In other words, guilt is "switched off" and shame is suppressed.

Isaiah 3:8-9
8 For Jerusalem has stumbled,
and Judah has fallen,
because their speech and their deeds are against the LORD,
defying his glorious presence.
9 For the look on their faces bears witness against them;
they proclaim their sin like Sodom;
they do not hide it.
Woe to them!
For they have brought evil on themselves.

Jeremiah 6:15
15 Were they ashamed when they committed abomination?
No, they were not at all ashamed;
they did not know how to blush.
Therefore they shall fall among those who fall;
at the time that I punish them, they shall be overthrown,"
says the Lord.

Notice also, that after the Fall, shame can be experienced by someone when they are wronged or violated by others. The actions of the wrong-doer are associated with the one who is wronged. Such would be true in the case of sexual abuse.

Psalms 44:15-16
15 All day long my disgrace is before me,
and shame has covered my face
16 at the sound of the taunter and reviler,
at the sight of the enemy and the avenger.

Notice also another phenomenon. After the Fall, shame can include feelings of guilt for being wronged or violated by others. In other words, we may take responsibility for the wrong done against us, creating shame. In all of these, shame is misfiring and causing harmful consequences.

It is entirely possible for someone who has been violated by others to experience both shame and guilt for having been violated. Being neglected, abused, mocked, ridiculed, and other similar experiences can produce shame that is complex and difficult to resolve. If this is your case, it is our hope that this study will lead you toward the freedom from shame as you come to better understand its sources, lies, and effects, as well as the biblical narrative leading away from shame, and gracious work of Jesus in identifying with you in your shame.

It should be noted and obvious at this point that there are two dimensions of guilt and shame. One is vertical—toward or in relation to God, and the other is horizontal--toward and in relation to other people. This distinction should be remembered throughout this study, as it is the key to how guilt and shame should be addressed in reference to each.

A Biblical Excursion Regarding Shame

The following extended section is a sweep of scripture seeking to put together texts toward a full understanding of shame.

Shame is intended by God to be felt by the one who sins

Ezekiel 43:10
10 "As for you, son of man, describe to the house of Israel the temple, that they may be ashamed of their iniquities; and they shall measure the plan.

Ezekiel 44:13
13 They shall not come near to me, to serve me as priest, nor come near any of my holy things and the things that are most holy, but they shall bear their shame and the abominations that they have committed.

Lamentations 1:8
8 Jerusalem sinned grievously;
therefore she became filthy;
all who honored her despise her,
for they have seen her nakedness;
she herself groans
and turns her face away.

Shame is a condition into which one puts one's self by sin, or by association with that sin.

Hosea 9:10
10 Like grapes in the wilderness,
I found Israel.
Like the first fruit on the fig tree
in its first season,
I saw your fathers.
But they came to Baal-peor
and consecrated themselves to the thing of shame,
and became detestable like the thing they loved.

Shame is not felt when the conscience is seared and/or where there is insolent pride and hard- heartedness

"There are those righteous moments when we feel deep shame for our iniquity. But there are other moments when our hearts grow cold and we forget how to be ashamed and do "not know how to blush" (Jer. 6:15; 8:12; cf. Ezra 9:6; Ezek. 43:10-11)." (With All Your Heart, Troxel)

Isaiah 3:8-9
8 For Jerusalem has stumbled,
and Judah has fallen,
because their speech and their deeds are against the LORD,
defying his glorious presence.
9 For the look on their faces bears witness against them;
they proclaim their sin like Sodom;
they do not hide it.
Woe to them!
For they have brought evil on themselves.

Isaiah 48:4
4 Because I know that you are obstinate,
and your neck is an iron sinew
and your forehead brass,

Ezekiel 3:7
7 But the house of Israel will not be willing to listen to you, for they are not willing to listen to me: because all the house of Israel have a hard forehead and a stubborn heart.

Jeremiah 6:15
15 Were they ashamed when they committed abomination?
No, they were not at all ashamed;
they did not know how to blush.
Therefore they shall fall among those who fall;
at the time that I punish them, they shall be overthrown,"
says the Lord.

Zephaniah 3:5
5 The LORD within her is righteous;
he does no injustice;
every morning he shows forth his justice;
each dawn he does not fail;
but the unjust knows no shame.

The intended purposes of shame (to signal the need for repentance, when that is needed) can be aborted.

People can be guilty of sin but not feel shame for it. The absence of shame indicates the hardness of their hearts. It is for lack of felt guilt that they feel no shame.

Jeremiah 8:11-12
11 They have healed the wound of my people lightly,
saying, 'Peace, peace,'
when there is no peace.
12 Were they ashamed when they committed abomination?
No, they were not at all ashamed;
they did not know how to blush.
Therefore they shall fall among the fallen;
when I punish them, they shall be overthrown,
says the Lord.

Jeremiah 3:2b-3
You have polluted the land
with your vile whoredom.
3 Therefore the showers have been withheld,
and the spring rain has not come;
yet you have the forehead of a whore;
you refuse to be ashamed.

There is shame that associates with loving shameful things.

Shameful living (embracing shameful things and doing shameful things) can even be loved, without the accompanying feeling of guilt and shame, though the thing embraced is shameful.

Hosea 4:17-18
17 Ephraim is joined to idols;
leave him alone.
18 When their drink is gone, they give themselves to whoring;
their rulers dearly love shame.

Hosea 9:10
10 Like grapes in the wilderness,
I found Israel.
Like the first fruit on the fig tree
in its first season,
I saw your fathers.
But they came to Baal-peor
and consecrated themselves to the thing of shame,
and became detestable like the thing they loved.

Isaiah 42:17
17 They are turned back and utterly put to shame,
who trust in carved idols,
who say to metal images,
"You are our gods."

Shame can be something God "puts one to" because of moral and intellectual folly and delusion.

Whether that shame is felt is another matter. In this sense shame is something that is intended to be useful, for it points to something that needs attention, namely sin. Notice how much scripture references shame in this manner.

Psalms 78:66
66 And he put his adversaries to rout;
he put them to everlasting shame.

Jeremiah 10:14-15
14 Every man is stupid and without knowledge;
every goldsmith is put to shame by his idols,
for his images are false,
and there is no breath in them.
15 They are worthless, a work of delusion;
at the time of their punishment they shall perish.

Jeremiah 13:25-27
25 This is your lot,
the portion I have measured out to you, declares the LORD,
because you have forgotten me
and trusted in lies.
26 I myself will lift up your skirts over your face,
and your shame will be seen.
27 I have seen your abominations,
your adulteries and neighings, your lewd whorings,
on the hills in the field.
Woe to you, O Jerusalem!
How long will it be before you are made clean?"

Jeremiah 17:13
13 O LORD, the hope of Israel,
all who forsake you shall be put to shame;
those who turn away from you shall be written in the earth,
for they have forsaken the LORD, the fountain of living water.

Jeremiah 23:40
40 And I will bring upon you everlasting reproach and perpetual shame, which shall not be forgotten.'"

Ezekiel 36:32
32 It is not for your sake that I will act, declares the Lord GOD; let that be known to you. Be ashamed and confounded for your ways, O house of Israel.

Hosea 10:6
6 The thing itself shall be carried to Assyria
as tribute to the great king.
Ephraim shall be put to shame,
and Israel shall be ashamed of his idol.

Psalms 57:3
3 He will send from heaven and save me;
he will put to shame him who tramples on me. Selah
God will send out his steadfast love and his faithfulness!

Psalms 129:5
5 May all who hate Zion
be put to shame and turned backward!

Obadiah 1:10
10 Because of the violence done to your brother Jacob,
shame shall cover you,
and you shall be cut off forever.

Nahum 3:5
5 Behold, I am against you,
declares the LORD of hosts,
and will lift up your skirts over your face;
and I will make nations look at your nakedness
and kingdoms at your shame.

Psalms 83:16-18
16 Fill their faces with shame,
that they may seek your name, O LORD.
17 Let them be put to shame and dismayed forever;
let them perish in disgrace,
18 that they may know that you alone,
whose name is the LORD,
are the Most High over all the earth.

Psalms 44:7
7 But you have saved us from our foes
and have put to shame those who hate us.

Psalms 53:5
5 There they are, in great terror,
where there is no terror!
For God scatters the bones of him who encamps against you;
you put them to shame, for God has rejected them

Luke 13:15-17
15 Then the Lord answered him, "You hypocrites! Does not each of you on the Sabbath untie his ox or his donkey from the manger and lead it away to water it? 16 And ought not this woman, a daughter of Abraham whom Satan bound for eighteen years, be loosed from this bond on the Sabbath day?" 17 As he said these things, all his adversaries were put to shame, and all the people rejoiced at all the glorious things that were done by him.

2 Thessalonians 3:14
14 If anyone does not obey what we say in this letter, take note of that person, and have nothing to do with him, that he may be ashamed.

Titus 2:7-8
7 Show yourself in all respects to be a model of good works, and in your teaching show integrity, dignity, 8 and sound speech that cannot be condemned, so that an opponent may be put to shame, having nothing evil to say about us.

There are times when others sinfully put someone to shame.

This is an internal, and sometimes public, humiliation without warrant for doing so.

Psalms 44:15-16
15 All day long my disgrace is before me,
and shame has covered my face
16 at the sound of the taunter and reviler,
at the sight of the enemy and the avenger.

There are times when shame is felt at the discovery that the object of one's hope is proven insufficient and inadequate.

Isaiah 20:5-6
5 Then they shall be dismayed and ashamed because of Cush their hope and of Egypt their boast. 6 And the inhabitants of this coastland will say in that day, 'Behold, this is what has happened to those in whom we hoped and to whom we fled for help to be delivered from the king of Assyria! And we, how shall we escape?'"

Shame is something that can be prayed for as an act of justice.

Several times the psalmist prays that the shame that belongs to the oppressor/sinner becomes public, so that they might feel (in public) what the do not (in private). These sinners are likely those who seek to avoid public exposure and demand silence from those who could expose them. And they are the ones bringing harm, and likely shame, to others.

Psalms 6:10
10 All my enemies shall be ashamed and greatly troubled;
they shall turn back and be put to shame in a moment.

Psalms 71:13
13 May my accusers be put to shame and consumed;
with scorn and disgrace may they be covered
who seek my hurt.

Psalms 71:23-24
23 My lips will shout for joy,
when I sing praises to you;
my soul also, which you have redeemed.
24 And my tongue will talk of your righteous help all the day long,
for they have been put to shame and disappointed
who sought to do me hurt.

Psalms 109:29
29 May my accusers be clothed with dishonor;
may they be wrapped in their own shame as in a cloak!

Psalms 129:5
5 May all who hate Zion
be put to shame and turned backward!

Psalms 132:18
18 His enemies I will clothe with shame,
but on him his crown will shine."

There are times when God promises to remove shame by removing the people causing it.

This shame is removed by pruning the proud. The intention of God is that by removing shame there will be praise.

Zephaniah 3:11-12
11 "On that day you shall not be put to shame
because of the deeds by which you have rebelled against me;
for then I will remove from your midst
your proudly exultant ones,
and you shall no longer be haughty
in my holy mountain.
12 But I will leave in your midst
a people humble and lowly.
They shall seek refuge in the name of the LORD,

Zephaniah 3:19
19 Behold, at that time I will deal
with all your oppressors.
And I will save the lame
and gather the outcast,
and I will change their shame into praise
and renown in all the earth.

Joel 2:23-27
23 "Be glad, O children of Zion,
and rejoice in the LORD your God,
for he has given the early rain for your vindication;
he has poured down for you abundant rain,
the early and the latter rain, as before.
24 "The threshing floors shall be full of grain;
the vats shall overflow with wine and oil.
25 I will restore to you the years
that the swarming locust has eaten,
the hopper, the destroyer, and the cutter,
my great army, which I sent among you.
26 "You shall eat in plenty and be satisfied,
and praise the name of the LORD your God,
who has dealt wondrously with you.
And my people shall never again be put to shame.
27 You shall know that I am in the midst of Israel,
and that I am the LORD your God and there is none else.
And my people shall never again be put to shame.

Shame, when experienced as God intends as the result of personal sin, should lead to repentance.

Jeremiah 3:25
25 Let us lie down in our shame, and let our dishonor cover us. For we have sinned against the LORD our God, we and our fathers, from our youth even to this day, and we have not obeyed the voice of the LORD our God."

Titus 2:7-8
7 Show yourself in all respects to be a model of good works, and in your teaching show integrity, dignity, 8 and sound speech that cannot be condemned, so that an opponent may be put to shame, having nothing evil to say about us.

The removal of shame results from a right standing with God based on faith.

1 Peter 2:6-7a
6 For it stands in Scripture:
"Behold, I am laying in Zion a stone,
a cornerstone chosen and precious,
and whoever believes in him will not be put to shame."
7 So the honor is for you who believe,

Shame's opposite is honor; or put another way, shame is the absence of honor, whether that absence is simply felt, or is actually true.

Nehemiah 1:3
3 And they said to me, "The remnant there in the province who had survived the exile is in great trouble and shame. The wall of Jerusalem is broken down, and its gates are destroyed by fire."

Godly behavior can be an occasion by which ungodly opponents are put to shame.

Titus 2:7-8
7 Show yourself in all respects to be a model of good works, and in your teaching show integrity, dignity,
8 and sound speech that cannot be condemned, so that an opponent may be put to shame, having nothing evil to say about us.

Shame is removed when God removes sin from His people, creating in them a posture of humility, holiness, and peace.

Zephaniah 3:9-13
9 "For at that time I will change the speech of the peoples to a pure speech, that all of them may call upon the name of the LORD and serve him with one accord. 10 From beyond the rivers of Cush my worshipers, the daughter of my dispersed ones, shall bring my offering. 11 "On that day you shall not be put to shame because of the deeds by which you have rebelled against me; for then I will remove from your midst your proudly exultant ones, and you shall no longer be haughty in my holy mountain. 12 But I will leave in your midst a people humble and lowly. They shall seek refuge in the name of the LORD, 13 those who are left in Israel; they shall do no injustice and speak no lies, nor shall there be found in their mouth a deceitful tongue. For they shall graze and lie down, and none shall make them afraid."

There is a shame that should not cause one to avoid the good that God calls us to.

2 Timothy 1:8
8 Therefore do not be ashamed of the testimony about our Lord, nor of me his prisoner, but share in suffering for the gospel by the power of God,

Hebrews 12:2
2 looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God.

Mark 8:38
38 For whoever is ashamed of me and of my words in this adulterous and sinful generation, of him will the Son of Man also be ashamed when he comes in the glory of his Father with the holy angels."

1 Peter 4:16
16 Yet if anyone suffers as a Christian, let him not be ashamed, but let him glorify God in that name.

Scripture bears copious witness to the both aspects of shame: those that are intended to accomplish God's purposes and those that result from the fall of man. Both of these are ultimately in reference to relationship with God, affecting relationships between people. God's redemptive purposes in Christ are accomplished in the restoration of all things unto Himself. Only the gospel of Jesus powerfully and adequately addresses man's need for the removal of sin—the source and the misuse of shame.

Well-Place versus Mis-Placed Shame

John Piper posits that there are two distinct types of shame: well-placed and mis-placed shame. His understanding of scripture regarding shame distinguishes these two types based on the response that is motivated by the shame one feels. He applies this understanding primarily to the Christian's experience of shame, but the application to all humanity could be extrapolated. Shame that is justifiable (or appropriate), according to Piper (and I believe he is right), is determined by whose honor is at stake. For the Christian, the honor of God should always be our greatest concern, not our own. When people live for themselves, seeking the honor (acceptance, approval, respect, etc.) that comes from man, shame be mis-placed. Piper writes:

A lot of Christian shame comes from what man thinks rather than what God thinks. But if we realized deeply that God's assessment is infinitely more significant than anyone else's, we would not be ashamed of things that are so amazing they are even called the very power of God: "For I am not ashamed of the gospel, for it is the power of God for salvation to everyone who believes, to the Jew first and also to the Greek" (Romans 1:16). This verse tells us another reason that shame in the gospel would be misplaced shame. The gospel is the very power of God unto salvation. The gospel magnifies God and humbles man. To the world the gospel doesn't look like power at all. It looks like weakness—asking people to be like children and telling them to depend on Jesus, instead of standing on their own two feet. But for those who believe, it is the power of God to give sinners everlasting glory.

One of the reasons we are tempted to feel shame even at the power of Jesus is that Jesus shows his power in ways that the world does not recognize as powerful. Jesus said to Paul in 2 Corinthians 12:9, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Paul responds to this strange demonstration of power, "Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong" (2 Corinthians 12:9–10). Ordinarily, weaknesses and insults are occasions for shame. But for Paul they are occasions for exultation. Paul thinks that shame in his weaknesses and shame at his persecutions would be misplaced shame. Why? Because the power of Christ is perfected in Paul's weakness.

I conclude from this—and from all these texts—that the biblical criterion for misplaced shame is radically God-centered. The biblical criterion says, Don't feel shame for something that honors God, no matter how weak or foolish it makes you look in the eyes of others.

Piper, John. Future Grace, p. 131.

Though Christians may feel shame from doing what honors God, that shame does not determine the actions they choose to take. Instead, in seeking God's honor, they press through the shame in the pursuit of obedience. This is the path that Jesus took (Hebrews 12:2)

On the other hand, Christians who feel shame for doing wrong, who turn and repent, are experiencing well-placed shame.

Well-placed shame can be very healthy and redemptive. Paul said to the
Thessalonians, "If anyone does not obey what we say in this letter, take note
of that person, and have nothing to do with him, that he may be ashamed"
(2 Thessalonians 3:14). This means that shame is a proper and redemptive
step in conversion and in a believer's repentance from a season of spiritual
coldness and sin. Shame is not something to be avoided at all costs. There is
a place for it in God's good dealings with his people.

Piper, John. Future Grace, p. 132-133.

Mis-placed shame results when shame misfires, when it is self-directed, failing to accomplish God's intentions for shame.

In conclusion, Piper writes:

We can conclude from what we have seen so far that the biblical criterion for misplaced shame and for well-placed shame is radically God-centered. The biblical criterion for misplaced shame says, Don't feel shame for something that honors God, no matter how weak or foolish or wrong it makes you look in the eyes of other people. And don't take on to yourself the shamefulness of a truly shameful situation unless you are in some way truly woven into the evil. The biblical criterion for well-placed shame says, Do feel shame for having a hand in anything that dishonors God, no matter how strong or wise or right it makes you look in the eyes of others.

A Particular Shame: Abusive Dishonor Perpetrated by Others

As stated earlier in our study, there is shame that is a subjective feeling one has, often resulting from objective experiences with other people. When those experiences include being dishonored, especially in egregious ways, and particularly when young, the effect can be comprehensive, strong and long-lasting. Being treated wrongfully, even when doing right, can produce shame that mis-fires, causing harm to a person. This writer has written a practical study designed to help those who struggle with this sort of shame. It is available upon request from North Dallas Christian Counseling.

Conclusion

Shame is neither good nor bad per se. It is a capacity or a state in which one subjectively feels or one is objectively in. It often points to something that is wrong. Shame can be helpful in some cases, and harmful in others. It can be mis-placed or well-placed. Shame as a capacity is God-given and intended by Him for particular purposes that direct the one experiencing it back to Him. As a state, it can be well-deserved, in need of repentance, or unjustified, in need of care. We must be mindful to detect shame when it is present, understand well of what type we are seeing, and address it according to the wisdom given us regarding it in scripture. Responding to shame in the ways the Bible prescribes is essential to shame fulfilling God's intentions for it and avoiding the dangerous pitfalls that accompany it.

As Christians, we are to be ashamed of the right things and unashamed by the right things. We are to stand strong in the face of those things that will feel shameful, but are right. We are to feel shame when we do wrong, or when we avoid shame by avoiding doing right. We are to lift the heads of those who have been shamed because of no cause of their own. And we are to call to repentance those who cause shame, but feel very little of it themselves. We are to follow the lead of our Savior, Jesus, who thought little of the shame He was subjected to, and rather thought much of fulfilling His Father's will on our behalf (Hebrews 12:2). We are to let the gospel of grace lift our humbled heads as we rejoice in a salvation secured for us in Christ. We are to humbly associate with those who are shamed, and we are to direct their focus to the exalted King who identified with them in their shame—both because of their sin and because of others' sin against them.

Christians should avoid shame that comes from sinning, and embrace the shame that may come from walking in holiness. We are to see our Savior associating with the lowliest and seek to do the same. We need to see the pride of our hearts that produces the shame we often feel. In seeing, we need to repent. In seeing it in others, we are to compassionately, intentionally, and humbly pursue. May God help us rightly understand and respond to the issue of shame.